Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
