Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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