So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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