Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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