It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
