Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
