Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She needs sedatives and a leash
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
