Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
