Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Randomize
