so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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