I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
