so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
