Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
