i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
