Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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