I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
