Me. At least after what I've been through.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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