Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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