I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
