I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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