I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
