Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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