Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
