Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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