There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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