just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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