all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
