Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
