Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
