Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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