...so i touched it.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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