its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
