I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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