obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
