Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
