I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
