Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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