Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
