It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
