Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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