We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
