Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
