the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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