apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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