I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
