Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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