If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
