By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
