guys are not supposed to queef...right?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
