maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
someone owes me an orgasm
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Couch. On fire.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
