This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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