i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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