he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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