what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
